Thursday 27 May 2010

Mutton dressed lamb

For a little while now I've been feeling that the numbers in my age are...well, surreal. And overwhelming. I'd better get used to it, I know. But sadly, the older I get, the vainer I become.
The disbelief of others bears little consolation. In fact, their surprised exclamations and suspicious looks make me feel a little delinquent, an impostor inhabiting my own flesh and bones.

Surely things ought to be a lot different. Some sort of balance and wisdom should have been reached by now. But adulthood is just not happening to me. Then getting old shouldn't happen either... That's only fair, isn't it?

So for my birthday I wore my "little girl" dress, not so much in a deliberate attempt to look half my age, but because it shows who I truly am, a child yet to find her way in an adults' world.


  1. Happy birthday! I completely relate to this feeling. I'm in my mid-30s (!) and people always call me "cute," "adorable," "sweet," etc. A sweet old lady at a local bookshop asked me if I had just graduated high school. I suppose age is just a number, but sometimes, I feel like my brain is ancient but my body and face convey someone different. Dressing how you feel (and who you feel) you are is a great idea. I think you look wonderful!

  2. thank you; in some ways i too feel ancient - yet not an adult.
    i look forward sometimes to my 60's plus, when the battle would be over and wrinkles settled, but wearing granny fashion and acting like a child would be natural again.
    up until then though there's the long agony of the flesh loosing its charms and the ridiculous of one infantile at say, 46.i confess i do find it rather scary...